I thought it might be good to give an update prior to my visit to IVF Hammersmith on Monday for a pregnancy test. In the last few days, I've been experiencing interrupted sleep (due to many visits to the loo) and have been extremely tired in the afternoons. I haven't had any significant breast pain. These experiences are completely different to the way I felt in January when I had a chemical pregnancy. Further, some of these symptoms may well be due to the progesterone and oestrogen supplements I am continuing to take.

Anyhow, I did a test a couple of days ago (at night which was pointless in any case) and it was negative. However, at 03:00 today,  I again had to get up and thought I would try again; the result was entirely different - positive. My husband got up at the same time so I could show him the test.

Obviously, our experience last time was not great and it is still very early days. I need to find out from IVF Hammersmith on Monday about the HCG hormone levels to ensure they are within the bands of having the potential to sustain a pregnancy to full term. However, this does feel like good news and that the last three months' preparation has not gone to waste.

If it is truely positive and I am pregnant, then a lot will have to change career-wise perhaps and there will be tonnes to think about. For the moment, I'm not going to allow myself to get too upbeat until I have all the facts. The embryologist did suggest that because one of the embryos had cells dividing prior to transfer, that this was a very good sign.

Off we set at 07:17 this morning to IVF Hammersmith for our pregnancy blood test. Obviously, I already knew there was a strong likelihood that I might be pregnant, having had a positive urine test earlier this week but with our experience in January in mind, I was not going to prejudge the outcome of this test.

In the last couple of days, I've had very light spotting which is apparently a sign of the embryo burrowing into the womb wall. I have also been feeling very tired, uncharacteristically and extremely irritable (as my husband will testify) and a little bit queasy in the morning.

Anyhow, one of the nurses rang me at about 12:00 with the great news that I am pregnant and that the hormone levels are normal. I have to return in a couple of weeks for a pregnancy scan.

It's still very early days so although very pleased that the last year has not been wasted, I am aware that it's very early days.

Redzer x

Well, it did happen as predicted; my sister asked my husband and me to be godparents to her daughter.

Knowing that this might be on the cards, we had discussed this possibility and knew that we had to decline, although recognised that this might lead to potential negative repercussions. We're atheist in every sense of the word and being asked to be a godparent at a catholic baptism, where the parents are not church-goers (or even possibly believers) just seemed unreasonable. Furthermore, my brother-in-law admitted it was to ensure her daughter gets into a good school.

We strongly feel that declining the invitation was the right thing to have done, even though it is likely the rest of my family will now have an opportunity to sit in judgement about our beliefs. A friend of mine said that it's very easy for atheists to look rationally at an issue such as this because we do not see any serious repercussions to not believing. However, believers take responsibility for preventing the likes of us from going to hell. A lot of my family are extremely religious and I think this will potentially may lead to a deterioration in my relationship with them as they may see my husband and me as a potentially negative or borderline evil presence in our niece's life. To me, there is something unethical about commiting a child, who is not able to make a choice, to a religion they do not understand.

Anyhow, we are not prepared to commit to something we are unable to fulfil and therefore and know that the decision was made in good conscience. My sister and her husband sat in silence for ages despite my husband saying it was very nice to be asked but that it was something we could not do. We did however, say we would attend the christening, from an observer's perspective and would look after the child if ever this became necessary.

The christening is in July. I'll let you know how it goes.

Redzer

We're both cautiously excited right now about me being pregnant. Thankfully I've not been suffering from any nausea so far, just mild headaches, sore and ever-expanding breasts and a little sleeplessness. My sense of smell has definitely become more acute which can be awful when travelling on public transport in particular.

I've also experienced mild cramping, particularly in the morning from time to time.

Unfortunately, this morning would have to be the worst pregnancy-related problem I've experienced so far. I woke from a deep sleep with extreme pain in my lower abdomen and sever cramping. I became clammy and cold and could not walk and struggled to reach the bathroom. My poor husband called for help and the nurse on the end of the phone talked him through how to look after me. The episode lasted about thirty minutes before the pain went.  There has been no bleeding thankfully but I have had to take the day off work and was instructed to visit the doctor asap. What a nightmare!

We have our six week scan on Monday so hopefully we will be able to see a heartbeat for the first time.

My husband and I excitedly attended IVF Hammersmith this morning for our six week scan. Everything appeared to be going well (apart from the incident last Thursday) and my pregnancy symptoms have continued to develop. I have been having sleepless nights, interrupted by need to visit the loo, extreme tiredness in the afternoons and my breasts are so painful.

Anyhow, we had a bit of a nightmare getting to the clinic today - traffic on the A1M was horrendous, making us 20 minutes late for our appointment.

The sonographer was very patient and welcomed us. Unfortunately, she could not find a viable pregnancy during the scan and informed us that potentially there may be an ectopic pregnancy which she could not detect. We were devastated as we'd come to terms with the fact that we might be parents at long last.

I had to go for a blood test to see how the HCG levels are doing and may have to go back for further treatment. In any case, the miscarriage is going to be managed by the staff at IVF Hammersmith.

We won't be doing IVF any more as there are no more embryos left and the stress and disruption to our lives over the past 18 months has been significant. However, there are no regrets - we have achieved what we set out to. We have peace of mind that we've done everything possible to try and now we can get on with our lives.

Redzer