The IVF Diary - Final Entry

Well yesterday, we were bright eyed and bushy tailed with excitement. However, today we are despondent and devastated.

We were told yesterday that "no news is good news" so imagine how sick I felt when my mobile went this morning at work. I knew what was coming and the doctor from Hammersmith IVF handled the situation brilliantly.

Unfortunately my our gametes did not bond and therefore we have no embryos and therefore nowhere to go from here. To fall just before the final hurdle is crushing - I think I would have felt better had the implantation failed but the process didn't get that far.

I had to come home this afternoon as I hadn't come fully to terms with the news. It's weird how easily I could switch back into work mode when someone came in to see me though. At least I'm a professional I suppose.

The one consolation I have taken from the months of injections, disruption and stress is that we tried it. I think in twenty years' time we would have regretted it and always thought "what if?".

We're now left with decisions to make about the our future's direction - thankfully our relationship is solid as is our love and we're strong enough to get through this. Perhap other opportunities will arise or a change in lifestyle altogether.

I wish those of you going through this better luck than we had.